THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove::
A Radical "Mother's Day" Message :: Today is Mother's Day in many countries, and
mothers everywhere are being honored and appreciated for the invaluable
contribution of mothering.That's the bright side...For many families there's
also a subtle dark side of Mother's Day: focusing on the *sacrifices* mothers make
for their families. Mothers' self-sacrifice is typically celebrated by reversing
the sacrificial current. For one day, the other family members take over the
mother's "duties"so she can be free (theoretically) to focus entirely on her own
pleasure. Don't get me wrong: I think one of life's simple pleasures is
contributing to the pleasure of others,and that includes the good feeling of
pampering mothers. It's the undercurrent of *guilt* that so often taints the
fun. When the subtext is, "We're doing this stuff for you today because you
*can't* have what you want the other 364 days of the year," it actually
*perpetuates* the cycle of self-sacrifice, resentment, and guilt. So here's a
radical proposition for every mother who has ever bought into the idea of
self-sacrifice as avirtue: Decide that EVERY day is Mother's Day! Don't settle for
anything less than a predominantly pleasureful path of mothering, and remember
that the best way to raise kids who enjoy life is to let them see your commitment
to enjoying life yourself. :-)**(Note to self-sacrifice addicts: If you think
I'm saying you should force yourself to be happy...think again!)**http://dailygroove.net/radical-mothers-day Feel
free to forward this message to your friends! Copyright (c) 2007 by Scott Noelle
I like this because I'm often chagrined to hear that what some moms want most on Mother's Day is to get away from their little brats. I think that's sad. My children are what made me a mother and I celebrate motherhood! When we decided to stop at two children because of realizing that overpopulation was really doing a number on our planet, I thought it was a good and responsible decision. And I applaud people who have taken that principle even further and don't have any children. Yet, when I think about whether I could have done that if I'd had the consciousness before I had kids, I just don't think I could have. Childbirth was such an amazingly empowering moment in my life (times 2), and having the experience of bringing a child out of my body, feeding that child from my body, and nurturing that child (both of them) to maturity (ongoing) is just an incredible experience. I know I wouldn't be the same person without being a mother.
Last night I received an email from a friend who had emailed some mom friends, thanking us for helping her along with her mothering. And I think it's true: we do help each other in parenting, because none of us exist in a vacuum. To all the moms out there, thank you for being good moms and for all the influence you've been in my life and my kids' lives. It's a chain reaction--even if I've never met you, I've surely "met" something that you've influenced.
And finally, on this Mother's Day, let's not forget the original intent of Mother's Day. It was founded as an activist holiday. It was a mothers movement to stop all war. It was a call to teach our sons (and daughters, these days) to be peaceful and to resist the call of the forces that be to go out and kill other mothers' children. Julia Ward Howe is the originator of this movement, and I give honor to that mother today. And I'll end by posting her Mother's Day Proclamation here.
Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise all women who have hearts,
whether your baptism be that of water or of fears!
Say firmly: "We will not
have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands shall not
come to us reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall
not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of
charity, mercy, and patience.
We women of one country will be too tender of
those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
From the bosom of the devasted earth a voice goes up with our own. It says,
Disarm, Disarm!"
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice! Blood
does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession.
As men have
often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave
all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let
them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them then
solemnly take counsel with each other as the means whereby the great human
family can live in peace,
And each bearing after her own time the sacred
impress, not of Caesar, but of God.
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