Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Today is a New Day, and we're alive

Last night was so hard. It took all my courage to walk into that funeral parlor and see what used to be Mark. Quietest I've ever seen him--by a long shot! Mark was *always* talking--wouldn't let anyone get a word in edgewise. And, as I expected, he looked terrible.....but then, he'd been dead for over two weeks already, and even the best they can do for him wouldn't cover up that fact. I think it was important that we all see him though...since no one who knew him saw him until yesterday, if we hadn't seen him, we would have all been left wondering "maybe they made a mistake, and it wasn't really Mark?"

But today is gorgeous. Actually, yesterday was gorgeous, too--we have sun back in the Sunset district of San Francisco! Yay! I hadn't dried my laundry outside since June, but I did yesterday. It just doesn't dry in the cool, foggy damp that is summer for us here. We get our real summer in the fall. So, we're soaking it in now. I think we're headed out to the beach (if I'm recovered enough from yesterday's physical and emotional exhaustion) this afternoon with the kids that usually play soccer on Wednesday afternoon. The dad who coaches them said "it's too hot for soccer! It's a beach day." Sounds good to us.

When we got home last night, I could hear the ocean's roar in the distance--we live about 25 blocks from it--and I wanted to just go and sit and watch it in the dark. But I had kids to get to bed and food to put away. Paul said "that means you're getting old." I said, "I'm not getting old! I had obligations!" He said, "yeah, that's the same thing."

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