Wow!

WHAT an awesome concert! The opening band was 3fivehumans. Now, I usually see opening bands as something to get through until I can hear who I went for. But 3fivehumans was great! They only did a couple of songs by themselves, and then Indigo Girls came on and they played together, which meant they had a full band accompanying them. They really went well together, and they were a lot of fun to watch!

The concert was in the Crystal Ballroom at the Mcmenamins on W. Burnside--just a couple of blocks from Powells. (Yes, Mimi, everything does revolve around Powells! ;-) The only thing we were disappointed about is that the only seats were two rows in the balcony--and the kids weren't allowed up there, since there's a bar there. And they were full anyway. So, we stood, which we complained about until the concert started and then we were happy to be able to stand and move a bit to the music--until it got so jammed that no one could move without seriously invading someone else's private space! We were thinking, 35 bucks a ticket for no seats? But we were told that 100% of the proceeds goes to Habitat for Humanity. Oh, and they were promoting something called Women Build, and they're building two houses! Hibi and I want to get involved.

And the thing didn't even start until 9.....We were out late last night! Good thing Paul's day off is today.

music

Mimi's always talking about the music she's listening to, so I'll brag that we're going to the Indigo Girls concert on Thursday! We've all been to one before, and Hibi and I went to hear Amy Ray last year in San Francisco. This one is a fund-raiser for Habitat for Humanity, and they're doing something about Women Building or somesuch. I'll have to find out more about that.

The concert starts at *9 pm* though. We had to really weigh whether we could stay awake for it! Thank goodness that we are all kind of night owls, though Paul's been going to bed at 10 lately.

Indigo Girls is our Very, Very Favorite. We have branched out in the last couple of years, and we now listen to more than just Indigo Girls, like Ani Difranco, U2, Wailin' Jennys, John McCutcheon (he's coming to Portland, too, in April!) and Bruce Cockburn. But Indigo Girls is still our Very Favorite.

Delicata Squash with Wild Rice

We had this for dinner last night. It was so good! Though I couldn't find the wild rice that I was sure I'd bought, so I used some kind of brown rice--it wasn't ordinary brown rice but had brown and black grains--that I had on hand. Here it is:

Delicata Squash with Wild (or not) Rice

2 delicata squash
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion, diced
1/2 cup dry sherry
2 cups cooked wild rice
1/2 bunch parsley, chopped
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup walnuts, toasted
1/3 cup cream cheese
1/2 cup milk
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Halve the squash and scrape out the seeds. (You can use the seeds and strings in vegetable broth.) Arrange squash, cut side down, on a baking dish and bake in a 400 degree oven until tender.

Meanwhile, heat oil in a skillet over medium heat and saute onion until soft. Stir in the sherry and pepper and simmer 3 minutes. Stir in the cooked wild rice and heat through. Add the parsley and mix well. Keep warm.

In a blender (or food processor) puree the sour cream, toasted walnuts, cream cheese, milk, lemon juice, cinnamon and 1/2 teasoon salt. Add a little extra milk if needed to make a smooth sauce.

To serve, spoon the rice mixture into the squash cavities, pour walnut sauce over squash and serve immediately.

So, while we were eating this yummy dish, Paul had an interesting idea for a cookbook. He thought of it because, for Hibi, I served the sauce separately and gave her walnuts and a lemon half to squeeze over hers. He thought it would be a great idea to write a cookbook that has recipes for meals that are easily made to meet the needs of both vegetarians who eat dairy and eggs and vegans. Like this one--just leave the sauce off, have some walnuts and lemon juice, and it's a tasty vegan meal. I've really learned a lot about adapting to both diets in the last year and a half, since Hibi went vegan. But it would have been difficult if we'd gone straight from eating meat to having to do both veg and vegan.

Hibi really liked the idea and immediately started writing down recipes that we do this with--pastitsio (I make the regular meatless pastitsio that I adapted years ago, then also make a vegan cream sauce and make a separate small one for Hibi), bruschetta, Mexican night--just put on your taco whatever you want, etc. I might be able to do this. We'll see.

My Weekend

I went back to St. Nicholas Ranch--where we used to live--for the weekend. We had a Presvyteres Retreat--presvytera is my title as priest's wife. I went down with the other presvytera from our parish and the diakonissa (deacon's wife), and we met up with other presvyteres in Sacramento, and drove down with them, and we had a rollicking good time! Our Metropolitan Gerasimos (our bishop) was our speaker. Which I wouldn't have normally chosen, but he was really great. One thing I loved about his presentation was that when he'd ask us a question about ourselves, and women would begin to answer "well, as a priest's wife" or "I have to be there for my husband" he'd say "no, I asked about YOU, not about your husband." He wanted to relate to us as women, as human beings, not just as priests' wives, which is the kind of speaker I've been wanting for ages for this retreat--though I wanted it to be a woman. ;-)

As we've just started in this parish, and haven't had a parish before, I've been thinking about how I am to relate to people, what people expect of me, how they'd like me to be with them. And I really didn't know, until I thought back to when I was a child. I can remember it being a big deal to us kids if the pastor's wife gave one of us a hug or a kiss--we kind of bragged on it, because the fact is, my pastor's wife didn't really pay much attention to the kids. I decided when I remembered that that I want to be someone who notices kids and other people. And I won't always have time to stop and have a conversation, but a smile and a kind word is enough.

At the retreat we talked about the fact that our call to minister to other people really isn't any different from any other Christian person's, but the fact that our husbands' are priests provides more opportunity for ministry.

While I was gone, the kids and dad had a great time. I think they were really ripe for some time together, just as kids and dad. No one was sad to see me go. :-) Oh, they were happy I was back, but they really enjoyed some time together without me, which was great.

Tagged!

I've been tagged by Dawn. :-)

So, here goes:

Four jobs you have had in your life:

1. Babysitter--starting at age 12. My mom did daycare most of my growing-up years, so I always had plenty of customers for folks who needed someone to sit in the evenings.
2. Fruit packer--the job that earned a good bit of money in high school. I did piece work, so if I could work fast, without packing crud that the inspector would bring back to me, I could earn quite a bit.
3. House cleaner--I did this in college. I worked for an agency, where I earned 1/3 of the amount that the agency charged the individual. That sucks.
4. Day care provider--both in a preschool and doing home day care.

Four movies you could watch over and over:

1. Benny and Joon--my very favorite. We watched it about 6 times in the theater when it came out. That was just before I was pregnant with Hibi, who caused a moratorium on going out to movies!
2. Return to Me--I cry every time I see this movie.
3. The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill. Saw it twice in the theater and now I have the DVD on order so I can watch it over and over!
4. Can't think of a fourth that would fit this description, but I did like Amelie. Liked it better the second time I saw it.

Four Places you have lived:

1. Reedley, CA (near Fresno)
2. El Cajon, CA (San Diego county)
3. Boston
4. San Francisco

4 TV shows you love to watch:

We don't watch TV at home (except for one recent lapse in our vow of no TV at home....) But here are ones we watch when we're staying in a hotel:
1. Law and Order
2. Umm...I can't remember any others that are current
3. During the two months we were staying in someone else's condo in Florida, we watched Mystery! on PBS
4. Our recent lapse was Book of Daniel, which we wanted to watch and Paul went to the trouble to figure out that yes, we can get TV channels on our TV that has no antennae or cable attachment! We'll probably rue that day.

Four places you've been on vacation:

1. My favorite--Paris!
2. Mexico--Copper Canyon Railroad--another favorite
3. The year after we married, we took our Tour of the Western United States, including California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and Arizona. All in two weeks. I don't know what we were thinking. We certainly didn't SEE anything.
4. Bakersfield. No, just kidding, but that's where we said we'd have to vacation the year after we went to Paris, since that one was so expensive. Okay, so last year we went to Patrick's Point homeschool campout, in Northern CA for part of our vacation, and to Portland for the rest of it. :-)

Four Websites you visit daily:

I think this is supposed to not include blogs.....since I've started blogging, mostly what I look at is blogs! But here's some that I like:

1. SFGate
2. Google--I definitely use that one daily
3. Can't think of any more.

Four of your favorite foods:

1. Pastitsio
2. Pasta with pesto and fresh summer tomatoes
3. Choice Liquorice Peppermint tea
4. Stir-fried very fresh vegetables over rice

Four Places you would rather be right now:

I really like where I am right now. But here are some places I'd love to go:
1. Italy
2. Paris again
3. San Francisco again
4. New York City

Four Bloggers you are tagging:

1. Jennifer
2. Christina
3. LaDonna (Though I don't know if she's the meme type....)
4. Laurie

Our Day

MLK day! I never posted about Epiphany, and I had some thoughts I wanted to share, too. But we're past Epiphany and I was too busy to post so I'll post about MLK day.

I really wanted to attend an event today, because we did last year in San Francisco and it was such an amazing experience. That was the first time I heard the Glide church choir, and I think I sobbed all through it, as well as the part of a speech that they played of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s.

So, I found an event I wanted to attend, but I first wanted to get something else done. We're usually terrible at thank you notes. But this year I wanted to light a fire under my kids and get them to do them! So, I sat down with them (the only tried and true method of getting them to do anything is to do it with them) and we all made thank you notes. Except that long after I was done, and long after Hibi was done, Zac still hadn't finished one. I looked at what he was doing. He had drawn one picture and decided it wasn't good enough. Then he'd drawn another picture, but it had to be perfect. That was for one thank you note, but just a picture wasn't enough. He had to write a comic strip, since it was the money that came from this person that he bought the full set of Calvin and Hobbes with, which has inspired his drawing comics. So he had to draw four panels and put in dialogue as well. And he had to have everything spelled out for him, because he didn't want to mispell anything!

It took us 3 hours and 15 minutes, to get my 3 thank you notes done, Hibi's 4 thank you notes done, and Zac's 5 thank you notes done. I was ready to get out by then!

We had the usual program filled with cute kids' choirs, speakers awarding plaques for service to the community, and other performances. There was one choir that I was magnetized to. It was a women's choir, and they accept anyone who wants to join. They sing for peace and justice issues, as well as feminist ideals. Here's the themes of their music from their website:
Celebrating women
Performing a variety of music
Honoring life and humanity in all its diversity

Cool, huh! I knew immediately I want to get involved. I just have to get more info, which I've emailed for.

A good day, though Paul wasn't able to join us. He had a funeral to do today and house blessings. But as I was listening to a speech on the radio from MLK, I thought: we don't have any leaders like that now, and we so sorely need one.

UPDATE: Just as I was posting this, I got an email from a leader of the choir, saying they're full up for this term, but I can get on the waiting list for next term, starting in September. So I did. :-)

Strep!

Yep, it's strep. I feel like a dope for not realizing it before now, when she's been sick since last Tuesday! But at least now she's on the road to getting rid of the sore throat.

Hibi's tonsils

Hibi wants me to post about her tonsils. :-P I thought she just had a cold with a bad sore throat, which started I think on Tuesday. We've laid kinda low since then, though we did go to church on Friday morning for Epiphany, and we worked at the Food bank yesterday morning and went to a baptism reception. I thought she was getting better! I also have had a bit of a cold, which I figured I caught from her.

Last night she was feeling worse and slept in our room, something she hasn't done since she was very little. This morning we stayed home from church, and mid-morning or so she came to me saying that her tongue was coated with yellow stuff. And she'd just scrubbed it with her toothbrush! I looked at it and thought, ick! I told her to scrub again and she did, to no avail. I then finally (duh!) thought to look at her throat. Her tonsils were and are hugely swollen and had one large pustule on one. Over the afternoon and evening they've gotten more swollen with lots more pustules. She's quite grossed about about having pus-filled things in her throat! I think we have either tonsillitis or strep on our hands. I've never been really sure what the tonsils even look like, since I've never had any trouble with mine and can't really distinguish them from anything else in there. But now I know. These are huge. And I've never had strep, and neither has Paul. It's so much easier dealing with things we've dealt with before.

Portselkje!

Portselkje!
Originally uploaded by sanfranfamily.

I made them today! They are *so* yummy....if artery-clogging. But what are the holidays without a little clogged artery? I even made vegan ones for Hibi. They're so good I may not even bother making separate batches next year.

So, a few years ago I picked up a book called _Mennonite Foods and Folkways from South Russia_. The Mennonites did come through Russia as they fled religious persecution. They were there for many years, before they again experienced persecution and fled again. But I never, before reading this book, realized how much my old tradition and my new tradition have in common! Mennonites celebrating Lent because they lived in an Orthodox Christian context? I would have never thunk it. There are recipes for Paska (Easter bread) in the book. The amount that rubbed off onto the Mennonites is startling, especially given the response I got from Mennonites when I decided to become Orthodox.

There are some cute German poems in this book about Portselkje, which is why I mention the book. Here's one (in English):

I came here a-running,
My pants are ripped,
My pockets stayed behind.
Now you must give me something.
I'm looking over the long table.
What have you been baking?
Wonderful New Year's fritters!
Give me one, and I will stand,
Give me two, and I will go,
Give me three at the same time,
Then I wish you the kingdom of heaven.
>
and

I wish, I wish,
I'm only a little man;
I haven't learned much,
But still I'm worth a Portselkje!<

br />

So, recipes. First the original recipe, then the vegan one.

Portselkje (New Year's Cookies)
Dissolve 2 packets of yeast in 1/2 cup warm water in a large bowl, along with 2 teaspoons sugar. Add 3 teaspoons salt and beat in 6 eggs. Add 2 cups floured raisins (just mix a little flour into raisins before adding them), 2 cups warm milk, and 4 cups flour. Mix well, cover, and let stand until dough raises to double. Heat oil and/or shortening in a pot--at least 2 inches--to 350 degrees. Use a spoon to spoon out big dollops of batter--about 2 tablespoons--into hot oil. Turn when browned on the first side. When nicely browned, remove to paper towels or paper bags. When they're still warm, dust with powdered or granulated sugar, mixed or not with cinnamon. Yum!

My dad always used to put the cookies into a paper bag with sugar and toss them that way.

Vegan Portselkje

Dissolve 2 packets of yeast and 2 teaspoons of sugar in 1 cup of warm water in a big bowl. Add 3 teaspoons salt, 2 cups floured raisins, 2 cups warm soy milk, and 4 cups flour. Mix well, cover, and let stand until doubled. Cook as for the previous.

Oh, yeah!

Dried cherry bread
Originally uploaded by sanfranfamily.

I got my groove back. Here's the dried cherry bread I made today. I followed the raisin bread recipe in Laurel's Kitchen Bread Book but couldn't find my raisins, so I used dried cherries instead. (I've subbed different kinds of dried fruit before.) No problems at all except for a bit of sticking. Might be because I had to wash the pans after the catastrophe two days ago. I don't usually wash them between bakings.

I'm going to try to make the New Year's Cookies tomorrow.

Bread website and more bread baking

Ooh! I noticed that I got a referral from a baking site--that means, when I look at my stats, how people are finding my blog, that's where they clicked on a link to my blog. Anyway, I checked out this other site--they'd linked the recipe I posted yesterday. It's a cool site! I'll go ahead and link them right back. It's The Fresh Loaf.

In other bread baking news.....it was ironic that just before I went to bake yesterday, I posted that recipe on my blog. For I turned out with a mess. I have only botched just a couple of batches of bread in the whole....let's see....I've probably been baking bread every week for at least 9 years. But this is botched! It seemed to do fine until it was rising in the pan. Then it just sagged. Hibi also made a loaf of bread, since what I was making wasn't vegan. And hers turned out the same way! Paul made vasilopita, and it *finally* rose enough to bake, and actually turned out very beautiful. He wonders if it's barometric changes that's doing this. I couldn't come up with any better explanation than the yeast being bad, as I did open a new pouch of it yesterday. But most of the yeast for my batch came from the old pouch.

Paul made two loaves of vasilopita and we brought one to a meeting last night. We actually had to finish baking it there because it wasn't done yet! But it was delicious and when we got home I looked at the one he'd put in the fridge. Hey, you didn't cover it! I said. So I took it out and covered it. I got in bed and then thought, I didn't put it back in the fridge.....but I was too tired to get up again. When I got up this morning Paul had it in the oven. It hadn't risen all over the place, so I'm thinking the yeast has to not be very good. It's actually just beautiful now. Very slow acting yeast, I guess. But I'm just mystified at all our results.

Botched Bread

IMGP2294
Originally uploaded by sanfranfamily.

No, no. You don't want pictures. Really. It's just terrible. Well, okay, here they are. My three loaves on the left, and Hibi's bread that we couldn't even get out of the pan.

Vasilopita--St. Basil's Bread

IMGP2295
Originally uploaded by sanfranfamily.

And here's Paul's second Vasilopita! Beautiful, huh? Though the bottom tore out when I took it out of the pan. And the (offending?) pouch of Bob's Red Mill yeast in the background. I've recommended Bob's yeast for years because it's the only really reliable yeast I've found.

Who are you?

We bloggers like to know who is reading our blogs, and I'm no exception! I got the idea to ask from Katie's blog. If you read here regularly, and haven't commented, I'd like to know who you are! You can either post it in the commments section of this post, or email me privately. To email me, just click on "View my complete profile" and then on Email.

Bread

I usually make all my breads from _Laurel's Kitchen Bread Book_, which is the only book I've ever seen that uses only whole grain flours in all of its recipes. But it does take a little more work than "regular" bread. Just before Christmas, when we were out of bread and I had company coming and time was at a premium, I decided to use a recipe that came from a book I was reading, _The Baker's Apprentice_. Good book, too! I read _Isabel's Daughter_ by the same author during our move and enjoyed it enough to seek out another book by the same author. Now I want to read _Bread Alone_.

Anyway, the bread is called Tyler's Indian Maiden Bread because the baker who made it was questioned about the name Squaw Bread, saying that squaw was a derogatory word for a native American woman, and it also referred to female anatomical parts. (That latter one I'd never heard of....) The bread was delicious, and I was typing it out this morning because Paul's dad asked for the recipe and I want to keep it myself after I turn the book into the library. I thought I might as well post it here! It's a yummy bread.

I did make some modifications. I ended up letting it rise twice, as I usually do for Laurel's Kitchen bread, before shaping because we were going out for dinner right when it was ready to shape and I deflated it and put it in the fridge for a second rising. And I used my baking stone instead of baking it on cookie sheets, and I raised the temp accordingly....I think probably to 450, but maybe only 425. Here it is:

Tyler’s Indian Maiden Bread (from the book _The Baker’s Apprentice_)

2 cups water
1/3 cup oil
1/4 cup molasses
½ cup raisins
5 tablespoons brown sugar
2 packages dry yeast
½ cup warm water
2 ½ cups unbleached all-purpose flour
2 ½ cups whole wheat flour
1 cup rye flour
2 ½ teaspoons salt
½ cup cornmeal
½ cup oat flour
cornmeal for dusting

Combine the water, oil, molasses, raisins and brown sugar in a blender and liquefy. Soften the yeast in the warm water. Sift together 1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour, 2 cups whole wheat flour, the 1 cup rye flour, and the salt in a large bowl. Add the molasses and yeast mixtures. Beat at medium speed until smooth, 2 minutes. Gradually stir in enough of the remaining flours to make a soft dough that leaves the sides of the bowl. Remember, the moisture content of various flours can vary widely. You may not need all the flour called for. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead until smooth and satiny, 10 to 12 minutes. Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl and turn to oil entire surface. Cover and let rise until doubled, about 1 ½ hours. Punch down and let rest 10 minutes. Divide into 4 round loaves and place on cookie sheets covered with parchment paper sprinkled with cornmeal. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, 1 hour. Bake at 375F for 30 to 35 minutes.

End of year

This is a say-nothing, really, kind of post. I just thought I should let you all know that we're still alive and we had a good Christmas! Paul's parents and my parents both came for Christmas, and Paul's parents just left today to go back to Tucson. We had a great Christmas and a nice week. We showed them Powell's and downtown Portland, OMSI, Hawthorne Blvd. and our area up here in the NE part of Portland. We wanted to get over to the coast, as we heard the whales are migrating like crazy, but we never got over there. Maybe in January. :-) I'm going to do everything in January. It's starting to feel like New Year's Resolutions, and I don't do those. But one thing I am going to do is get to a doctor (hopefully find one I like here) and get a physical, as I am sorely overdue for one.

The church is having a party tonight, so that's where you'll find us!

I hope you all have a very happy and healthy new year!

and update on us

So, I haven't blogged much lately. I suppose that's because my life has been pretty much consumed with getting this house ready to be lived in, and ready for company on Christmas, and getting Christmas presents and all that. And I really don't like reading blogs that are just lists of what someone did. But I will tell a bit about our ideas of Christmas this year, because I think we've hit on something cool.

Paul and I both felt this year, coming up on Christmas, a sense of dread of going out and joining the Christmas throngs, to buy, buy, buy more stuff. As Paul said, we try not to shop the big chain department stores the rest of the year; why would we want to at Christmas? The desire to simplify was in both of us. Also: why buy gifts for people who are not going to use them anyway, for whatever reason. You don't know them well enough to buy for them, you don't have the same tastes as them, etc. What's the point?

I suppose it's the same non-conformity that we felt when we first got married, though I admit to some overzealousness. ;-) We felt that Christmas trees were completely pagan in origin (true) and we would only focus on Jesus' birth, as that's what Christmas is about. So, we did not get a Christmas tree. Instead, we made a manger. You read that right. It was probably 4 feet across and 3 feet high. We made a manger out of interlocking 2X4s and then we bought some hay to put in it. That's what we put our presents under. Man, oh man, we were zealots, but of the sincere sort. No more messy than a Christmas tree, but without the nice scent.

Anyway, back to the, uh, present. We sat down with the kids and hammered out some principles. One applies only to the immediate family: only one gift each. Each member of the family will receive one gift from the rest of the family. The other principles we will stick to as much as possible for every gift we buy: it will be made locally, in Portland, by a real person and not in a factory, and that person will be fairly paid, and hopefully we can even forge a relationship with that person as we are buying the item from him/her, so that we actually know the person our goods came from.

By the way, I actually got an email from the coffee folks I blogged about on Dec. 11! The guy was googling "family coffee portland" and found my blog, where I'd mentioned them! Now there's a relationship with my coffee grower. :-)

I have to say that Portland is a great city to live in to do what we want to do for Christmas, because it's a very artsy kind of a place. I got lots of recommendations for the Portland Saturday Market, and I went last Saturday, braving the *very cold weather*. But it was worth it--a huge market full of hand-made things, beautiful things, things of lasting value. Just what we were looking for.

I have to say one thing about my kids. They are cool. They so *got* this idea. They didn't just go along with it because they have weird parents, much less throw a tantrum or pout or anything like that. The only thing that needed to be cleared up came from Zac. He agreed to all this with tears dripping down his face. We asked him what was up--did he not want to do this? Is this because you won't get the erector set you wanted? No, it wasn't that. Oh--is it because you wanted to give everyone a gift just from you? Yes! He'd made gifts for all of us. So, we quickly amended the principle to say that if you make them yourself, you can give as many gifts as you want!

And then it snowed on Sunday! My kids just loved it. Well, we all did. I enjoyed just watching it out the window. And we were very surprised, but pleasantly so, that the dinner we were to go to on Sunday night was postponed. Postponed over a little snow?!? We've lived in Boston, and this was NOT the kind of snow you postpone stuff for....but apparently in Portland it is. Then again, they don't have the wherewithall to plow all the streets, only the major ones. So it's not as easy to get around as in Boston after a snow. But we were happy to stay at home and enjoy it.

I'm sure that'll be my last blog post before Christmas, so I'll say it now: Blessed Nativity to all who celebrate!

short update on my grandmother

I've been not posting about my grandmother because I didn't quite know how to say it....and I thought maybe I could ignore it and it would go away....but I see Molly just commented on the posting about my grandmother getting married and I feel compelled to let my readers know that my grandmother isn't getting married after all. My mom found out some things about John that made her uncomfortable, and she asked my grandma to reconsider. I suppose that a lesson can be made here: you're never too old to pull out just in the nick of time from a potentially stupid mistake. :-)

Our Saturday

Ah, life in Portland! We're trying to get used to the cold. Most often heard phrase coming out of my mouth this past week: "dress for the weather!"

Paul didn't get his day off this week, as he was up-to-his-ears busy with parish stuff in his first week. However, there were no sacraments yesterday--no baptisms, weddings, or funerals, which is not a usual occurence for a large parish on a Saturday. So, we got him at home until it was time for Vespers at 6! I took off, leaving him home with the kids (which was absolutely *fine* with him--he was ready for some time at home) and went by myself to find some things for our house that have been needed for the last week. I found some great panel curtains for our dining room at a vintage consignment shop. Yay for only 19 bucks for four panels! Unfortunately the rods I bought for them are too small, so they're not up yet. But I did get up some curtains in the upstairs bathroom--I was feeling like at night our up-the-hill neighbors could see right in. And my one indulgence purchase was a beautiful new torchiere lamp--we needed a good strong lamp for the living room, but I suppose I wouldn't have had to spend that kind of money on it....but it's pretty and I just bought it. :-)

So, I suppose that's one thing about being a homeschool mom--you have to look for time to do stuff like this. When I have the kids in the backseat, they'll only put up with so much stopping at every shop I see that might have what I want. I do appreciate the time I get, and I had fun by myself, shopping for our new home. And I feel good about these purchases--they were all bought at shops that support world crafts without being exploitative, or were bought used. I love the Global Exchange store. We shopped at the one in San Francisco a little, too. When I walked in yesterday there were coffee samples, and the guy giving them out was touting his family's coffee farm in Brazil! I've met my vegetable grower before, but I'd never met my coffee grower. Cool beans! ;-)

When I got home, the rest of the family was all excited. They'd gone for a walk, and I think it was a pile of prunings that inspired them to make a wreath. They took bits of stuff from the neighborhood and from our yard and made a wreath that's beautiful and smells good! It's made of some kind of evergreen, rosemary (okay, they stole that from my kitchen), lavender that grows in our yard, and rose hips outside our window.

Posts from Portland

As you all can see, I have a new name. Paul's uncle suggested this name and I kind of liked it. Near Powells was fun, though! I just don't know if it fully defines my existence.

Our house is coming together. It looks like a place to live now. It's not quite "home" yet, but it is a place to live. Boxes are getting counted down pretty quickly. I think we've found everything that really matters, after this morning when I finally found the good towels.

Social: the kids have a friend over to spend the night! They already have someone they liked well enough to invite over from the book group we went to last month and attended again today. She only lives a few blocks away, too. Cool.

Portland!

We're not homeless anymore! Just a quick update to let you all know that we're here and enjoying our new home. Well, we're enjoying it as much as possible while surrounded by boxes....but the kids are having fun with the instant fire that is our gas fireplace. :-) I wanted a real fireplace, but there are advantages to gas....

Just a bit of snow coming over the pass, not enough to make us chain up, so that's good. And I haven't seen any snow in Portland yet, but my kids are chomping at the bit. Hibi also wants to get on the internet now, as we just got our phone connected....so I'll go now. More later!

San Francisco Family

So, we're officially homeless now. Or, as Paul says, underhoused. :-) We've left our San Francisco home behind, but we're not yet moved into our new home. We're staying with Paul's parents in their 2 bedroom apartment....which is nice and cozy. Good thing we like each other.

I'm trying to think of a new name for my blog, since San Francisco Family will no longer cut it. Portland Family I suppose would do, but I didn't pick the original name for it's creativity--I'm not usually very good at picking titles. If you have any ideas, let me know in the comments section.

Merry, uh, Christmas

Paul just read in the paper this morning that Jerry Falwell is forming an organization to boycott stores that won't say "Merry Christmas" and instead use "Happy Holidays" or, in the case of Target, "Gather Round." (Surely they have better things to do with their time?) The words "merry Christmas" are in the Bible, right? Uh, no. The word Christmas is not in the Bible and in fact, was not celebrated as a feast day in the church until the 3rd century. "Gather Round" actually seems to me to be a whole lot more Christmas-y. But the dumb thing is that they won't shop at Target, so where will they shop for Christmas? Walmart, of course. A store with an abysmal human rights record. I guess exploiting people isn't against their religion.

A guy from the ACLU said something about "it's not like they're protesting consumerism..." It's just words. And there is so much to actually be *done.*
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I've got plenty to do with my time! Community Link yesterday--we made pumpkin bread (vegan, even!) and took it out to shut-ins. I got to visit a 38 year old woman from Damascus who broke her foot. Church this morning--last time at Annunciation and there will be a little going-away thing for us. Then this evening we're having a small gathering at our house to say goodbye to our friends here. Tomorrow we'll need to pack everything that we want to have with us, as opposed to having the movers take. Tuesday the movers pack us up and move us out, and Wednesday, I hope relatively early after Paul finishes work (ha ha about the early...) we'll drive toward Tucson. Probably not get there on Wednesday, as it's like a 15 hour drive and Paul will have lots to finish up. We'll spend Thanksgiving with Paul's family and then drive up to Portland from there.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! See you in Portland. :-)

Hibi

Last night, Hibi was planning on making herself a cup of tea and then going to bed. What she did instead was to spill boiling water on her belly. Ow! Instead of going to bed shortly after 10, as planned, she was up until past 2 am with an awful burn. She tried all kinds of things---aloe vera, lavender essential oil, etc. I told her to put ice or ice water on it. She protested that it doesn't work. Well, nothing is going to just make it all go away, but cold will keep the pain lessened. I felt the same as when she insists that putting on a jacket won't make her warmer.

In the process of putting cold water everywhere--uh, I mean on the burn--she covered the bathroom floor with it. I managed not to slip while cleaning it up, but then my feet were wet and while walking back to the living room via the tiled hallway, I slipped and came down hard on the other foot, right on the big toe. I now have a very sore toe. :-( Her burn is finally better this morning, though. It's a deep red color--looks pretty bad, but at least it's not blistered.

Wedding Bells are Ringing....

For my 100-year-old Grandmother! I can't believe it!

My grandmother, Helen, has been married three times already. Her third marriage was when she was 82 and her beloved was 84. I can remember how it happened: my grandmother had been widowed for 5 years, and I was 17. I came home late one night from babysitting, and went to get a drink of water from the kitchen before going to bed. When I put my cup in the dishwasher, there were dishes in there that my mother only used when we had company. The next morning, I asked her, "Who came over last night?" She replied: "Grandma brought her fiancee over last night." WHAT?!? I had not heard anything about her, uh, dating! He just out of the blue popped the question, and she was astonished. He was amazed that she never suspected that he had feelings for her. But she said yes! It was an amazing thing that they had 14 wonderful years together after getting married that late in life, and that my children knew Barney as "Great Grandpa."

A week and a half ago my parents came to visit and told us that Grandma was "seeing someone"....a younger man, no less! (He's 93.) I did not think they'd go so far as to get married! Do you know how weird it is to suddenly become cousins to kids you grew up with? That happened already when Grandma got married to Barney, and now it'll happen again.

I wish Grandma and John all the happiness in the world, for the rest of their lives.

Our new house!

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View from the front porch

View from the front porch
Originally uploaded by sanfranfamily.

Dining room

Dining room
Originally uploaded by sanfranfamily.

Doncha just love that sunlight coming into the room! Yeah, I know, it won't be doing that a whole lot, in Portland. But we can enjoy it when it does.

Back home....but not for long!

We are back--got back at around 6 last night (after stopping for a few groceries and to pick up Paul at work). We did find a house--though I'm not 100% happy with it--but it's only for a year or so until we can get it together to buy. It is a cute place. I'll update some more later, but right now I'm totally overwhelmed with the amount of laundry, address-changing, and car repair (blinky light on in the dash) I have to get done!

We move out of this house two weeks from yesterday.

Headed out!

The kids and I are headed out to Portland today! We're going earlier than Paul because we want to attend a homeschool function so the kids can start to meet other kids. There's a homeschool kids book group that's having it's first meeting tomorrow--discussing _The Penultimate Peril_, Lemony Snicket's latest! Then Paul will join us on Friday and we'll look for a house to live in and we'll be introduced formally to the parish on Sunday!

Wish us luck!

Moving

Paul told me last night that the movers will pack everything for us. How decadent! And yesterday morning we talked about getting the housecleaner who does the metropolis house whom he has become friends with to come help us with cleaning. He said it'll cost us $100 for the day. That sounds well worth it to me!

The only thing that bothers me about movers packing us up is they waste so much paper and plastic. We had them do some when we moved from Boston to San Francisco, and we'd find a box with scads of paper and one little thing in it. And it's all new paper, not re-used newspaper like I use when I'm packing. Aside from being so wasteful, I also have to deal with what to do with all that waste! I think I'll do some packing myself. But it's nice to know I can stop whenever I want. :-)

My laugh for the night

I'm still laughing as I write!

Zachary wanted to look at the coins I've collected from my travels today. Our old boxes of memorabilia are stored up in his closet, high on a shelf. I got some of the coins out of one of them, but he wanted *all* of them so somehow he got the whole box down. (Now I have to put it back up....) Just now, Paul was putting Zac to bed. (We had Bible study tonight, which we've all been going to sometimes, so he's going to bed late.) I could hear Paul and Zac coming back out into the living room, with Zac doing this mock protesting all the way. When they got out, Paul said, "well, he still fits!" I looked, and Paul had dug my old baby sling out of the box and put it on, and then put Zac into it! He did fit! Not very well, but he fit.....

I've been tagged!

I was tagged by Mimi and I've put it off long enough! So, here are my answers....

Five things I plan to do before I die

1. Travel--more of Europe, and Egypt (I went there as a teen and have always meant to go back)
2. Become a midwife (well, maybe--I've been interested in birth lo these 11 1/2 years since Hibi was born, and have thought about it a lot)
3. At least dabble with learning a musical instrument again. I took lessons in piano, violin, and clarinet when I was a kid, but I didn't really appreciate it for what it was back then
4. Grow healthy, well-rounded children into adulthood and
5. Develop close relationships with my grandchildren.

Five things I can do

1. Sing
2. Cook great vegetarian food
3. Bake real, 100% whole wheat bread with no gluten added, that tastes great
4. Love my kids and my husband
5. Be a friend

Five things I cannot do

1. Knit--at least, not very well
2. Sports--I'm just not athletic
3. Keep my house immaculately clean for any length longer than 5 minutes.....or usually even get it that way!
4. Sew anything anyone wants to wear except for capes for my kids
5. Stand being in a mall any more often than once a year

Five things that attract me to the opposite sex

1. Intelligence
2. Sensitivity
3. Hair
4. Smile
5. Voice

Five things I say most often

1. Come on, Hibi
2. Come on, Zac
3. Hey, sweetie
4. How was your day?
5. Uh huh. (Listening to a recounting from one of the other members of my family)

Five celebrity Crushes

Hmm.....I may not do very well on this one.....but here goes:
1. Johnny Depp
2. Orlando Bloom (we watched Pirates of the Caribbean last night, can you tell? ;-)
3. I can't think of any more.

People I'm tagging.....let's see, Dawn was already tagged by Mimi, and I think Jennifer has already done it but if you haven't, you're tagged. :-) Hibi, my darling, you are also tagged. If you read this, that is. :-) Ah, I'll make this easy: if you read my blog, and you have a blog of your own, and you haven't done this yet, you're tagged. :-) (Easy on myself, that is!)

fresh tomato, mozzarella, and basil pizza

I made *three kinds* of homemade pizza last night. They were all good!

sweet potato, fresh mozzarella, roasted garlic, and lemon puree pizza

sweet potato, fresh mozzarella, roasted garlic, and lemon puree pizza
Originally uploaded by sanfranfamily.

I got the idea for "meyer lemon puree" at Pauline's Pizza on Valencia in San Francisco.

pear, arugula, pecan, and blue cheese pizza

pear, arugula, pecan, and blue cheese pizza
Originally uploaded by sanfranfamily.

My Wonderful Kids!

My children astonished me yesterday!

They aren't usually the kind of kids who just *love* to help out around the house. (Are there any real kids like that?) But yesterday our dishwasher backed up--it wouldn't drain. After dinner I told the kids that since we don't have a working dishwasher, I really needed their help washing the dishes. I expected to have to nag and cajole, but instead they said "sure! That'll be fun!" We all went into the kitchen and they helped me until every last thing was cleaned up! Then Zac continued in the "being helpful" vein--after I put him to bed, he came back out to help me fold laundry. (What was I going to do, say 'no, you can't help fold laundry, you have to go to bed'?) After we were done with the laundery, he worked at straightening up my room! He made our bed (we don't usually make beds around here) and when Paul and I went to bed, we found sweet notes on our pillows, one marked DAD and one marked MOM. They said "good nit dad (or mom) love zac". I just about melted! What great kids I have.

visitor paths

I have statcounter on my blog, and I can see where, in general, people are finding my blog. I laughed yesterday morning when I found that someone had done an MSN search on _san francisco throws her 3 kids in the lake_ (no quotes). (This was the first of many similar searches, it would turn out....) I wondered what in the world that was about! Then I opened the paper and I wasn't laughing anymore. In case you haven't heard yet, there was a young mom in Oakland who told her family that she was going to feed her children to the sharks, and then drove them to the bay and threw them in. Only one body has been found (as of whenever this morning's Chronicle was printed).

There were more details today. The family knew she was unfit to care for these kids. She had schizophrenia, and didn't always take her medication. They had called social services and begged them to evaluate her case. Social services told them she wasn't insane, and there was nothing they could do.

Now there are three kids dead, and one locked-up childless mother. What a way to deal with problems.

Announcement

Dear Friends, Family, Acquaintances, and People Who Just Stumbled Across This Blog,

I have an announcement to make. It's a good announcement! Our family is being transferred to Portland, Oregon! Paul will be the senior priest of the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church. It's official now, and will be announced in the church this Sunday. The only hitch is that the date of December 1 is contingent on the successor to Paul's job here being able to be here by then.

We are all so excited! We visited Portland in June, which is how I began this blog, by posting our vacation pictures. We loved the city we already know a lot of wonderful people who live in Portland. We love San Francisco, but we've known it's not a permanent situation for us, and so if we must leave San Francisco, I am so glad it's for Portland.

I suppose my blog name will have to change to Portland Family or somesuch.

Hibi's new, new hair!

IMGP2056

Thought I'd post this for something for your visual stimulation, after all that reading! Hibi decided to try again with pink hair, and this time it came out PINK pink, or perhaps FUSCHIA fuschia, or something.

Ministry and More Changes and Growth

There's more than one answer to these questions, pointing me in a crooked line
--Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine

Third and final installation in my Conversion Plus story

When we moved to San Francisco, we were worn from all the scandal in the church, but still optimistic and hopeful. Scandal--I already wrote about the Spyridon era (which ended, thankfully, soon after we moved to San Francisco) but there was also the Ben Lomond scandal. We had been visiting Ben Lomond since the days leading up to our conversion, and talking with Fr. David about church issues and lots of other stuff. We really enjoyed his company, along with Sergius Halvorson (before he went off to seminary and got married and got ordained....if anyone knows where Fr. Sergius Halvorsen is, let me know! We'd love to hear from him). But then scandal hit the Ben Lomond parish, and almost all of it's clergymen were defrocked. Fr. David avoided it initially, only to be defrocked later on. He made the painful (for us and I'm sure him, too) decision to return to the Catholic church in which he was raised, where he could continue his priestly ministry. He continues in Ukiah, with a small Ukrainian Catholic parish there.

With Paul working at the diocese, we saw more and more politics. We saw things that made us say "huh, I thought the church was for spirituality; what's all this stuff doing here?" But there was good there, too. Working at the diocese really gave Paul a great overview as to how the diocese works.

As for living in San Francisco. I found it to be a very exciting place, though I was still quite wary of it's lifestyle and politics. I had a laugh when visiting my parents' church in central California, and someone asked how we liked San Francisco. I suppose he was expecting us to bemoan all the debauchery, because he seemed genuinely surprised when I answered that we really loved living in San Francisco!

Early on, when we were driving on Market St. in the Castro, Hibi asked, "Mom, what are all those rainbow flags for?" She was five at the time. I was a bit hesitant to delve into the issues of homosexuality, but I have always wanted to be as honest as possible with my children, and Hibi has always been a very precocious child who makes you forget that she's still so young. So, I began explaining that they represented homosexuality and that's when two men or two women get married, instead of a man and a woman, and that God doesn't want anyone to do this and it's a sin. Paul muttered to me that he was having some questions about that, but I said "this is what we believe now." (She doesn't even remember that conversation now....)

We got involved in a homeschool group that I loved. There were all kinds of different homeschoolers: Christian, Jewish, Muslim, secular, those who were sympathetic to religion, those who hated religion. We all were more or less tolerant to each other's beliefs. I got to know one mom who had a daughter who was Hibi's age. I liked both of them a lot, and we both enjoyed their company. I don't remember when I met Melanie, but we joined in September of 1999, and I'm sure I met her sometime soon after that. It wasn't until I was sending out invitations to Hibi's birthday party in March, when I was looking at the group's roster to write out addresses, that I saw that there was a woman's name along with Melanie's name listed as the parents. Hmm??? Melanie brought her daughter to Hibi's party, and my mother was also there. My mom told me later that the little girl had come to her and said, out of the blue, "I don't have a daddy, but I have two mommies!"

So, that made me think. If Melanie was a lesbian, that meant that at least some lesbians were normal people, not freaks as I had thought of homosexuals who were out of the closet, parading their sexuality. Melanie was a wonderful mom. Did she have any less right than me to mother a child? Did she have any less right to be treated as a normal human being than I did? Did she have any less right than I do to live in the companionship of the partner of her choice? Melanie was just another mom, with a great kid and a long-term partner with whom she was sharing life and parenthood. I did a lot of thinking in the months to come. I ultimately decided that what I was taught about homosexuals just seeking more and different kinds of pleasure had to be bogus. Why would they choose this lifestyle where they were ostrasized and treated as freaks? Paul had done some study into the issue of homosexuality, from the church fathers' point of view, and found, to his surprise, that when they addressed the issue they were talking about something totally different than what we call "homosexuality." They were talking about married men who were at an intellectual level far above their wives, because women didn't study back then--they were for cooking and having babies. These men wanted a connection with someone of their own status in life, and therefore took male lovers. This is a lot different from a couple of men or a couple of women sharing life together.

Another thing we were beginning to focus on in San Francisco was the homeless problem. There are a lot of homeless people in San Francisco. We were still pretty clueless about what to do about it. But when it started bothering our children, we knew we couldn't just give them pat answers and try to quell their concern. Their concern was legitimate. It was just something that we started thinking about, for the most part. Paul did organize a group from the church to volunteer a morning at the food bank, and I can remember trying to think of a way to volunteer somewhere along with my children. I had not the desire, nor the money, to leave them with someone else so that I could go volunteer by myself. But I couldn't figure anything out.

And then 9/11 happened. I experienced massive shock, just like everyone else. But what really shocked me, after I had some time to think about it, was the fact that my ideas of pacifism had really progressed, and a few days after 9/11 when people started talking about "getting them" I was even more shocked and horrified. How could we even think of bringing more violence to the world, after we'd just seen this carnage? Why would we want other people's children and mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters to have to experience this? It just made me sick, and even sicker to realize that I was in the minority on this. I spun into a deep depression over it. And if I'd hoped for comfort, or at least a different message, from the church, I was sorely disappointed. A week and a half later I walked out of church while the choir sang "God Bless America." It was NOT the message I needed right then--we're great, they're terrible, we're right, they're wrong. We have the right to kill as many or more of them than they did to us. Later, when I was trying to emerge from the gloom that had settled in and my disgust with the church's response, Paul reminded me of the Orthodox Peace Fellowship. I gladly got in touch with Jim Forest and became a member of OPF. I was instrumental in getting him out to conduct a retreat at St. Nicholas Ranch, later, when we lived there.

I want to move back to the seminary days....I mentioned a correlation between the revelation on "wives submit to your husbands" and my response to 9/11. I hadn't even thought of the connection until I started writing this out, but I do think they are connected. Submission has to do with violence. It isn't physical violence, but not all violence is physical. I also wanted to bring into this the fact that when I first had a child, I thought that I'd bring her up in the same kind of discipline as my parents did--that is, using punishments, which included spankings if necessary. Thank God for Hibiscus! She totally thwarted that plan. She is a very strong little girl (not so little anymore!) and when she wanted to do something, my telling her not to was not going to stop her. I did spank her, but all it did was make her mad. It did nothing to make her do what I wanted her to do. I finally quit spanking her, just because it didn't work with her. After I stopped, and thought about it, I realized how barbaric it is to hit another human being because they won't do what you want. I'm sure that Hibi has some scars from my treatment of her (she does remember it, even though I quit when she was two) but I hope that it will also help her to see that even mommies make mistakes.

I mention this in correlation with my response to 9/11 because I think it is definitely related. When I stopped dealing with problems with my children in a violent way, I realized I had to look for other solutions. I think our society deals with problems in a violent way, because that's how we've all been dealt with and we can't see outside of the use of violence as a means to control behaviour. The submission thing, along with deciding to look for other solutions besides spanking, took me on a road to seeking out other solutions for bigger problems including global problems.

In October of 2001 Paul was ordained to the priesthood. At his ordination this time, Metropolitan Anthony announced to everyone that as a gift, he was going to take our whole family to Crete with him! I didn't believe I'd heard him right. But yes, he took us to Crete, only a little over a month later, and right after Paul was transferred to work as the director of St. Nicholas Ranch and Retreat Center in Dunlap, CA--an hour east of Fresno. We moved on Dec. 1, and then went back to San Francisco on the 3rd and took off for Crete with Metropolitan Anthony and Bishop Anthimos. Wow, what a trip. I mean that in good ways and bad ways! I wouldn't have given up the experience, but it proved a bit difficult to travel with the Met. At the end, Paul told us we had to all go and thank him for the trip. I forced myself to say thank you, because it had been a very difficult time at the end. His response to me was "and thank you for all the aggravation!" Well, the same to you! Honestly, the man could be quite difficult, but I think he (sometimes) had a good heart. It was good of him to give us such an extravagant gift, and the chance to see Crete was wonderful.

We began our tenure at St. Nicholas Ranch on December 20, when we got back, and we began it with a non-functional water heater and oven/stove. And an hour out of town! I didn't get a new range until after Christmas. Thank goodness we could go over to the retreat center to take showers!

When people ask how our time was out at the retreat center, I answer truthfully that we really took advantage of our time out in the country. We had cats, chickens, and ducks. I had a large garden. The kids loved just taking off without even telling me they were leaving, and exploring and climbing hills. I did love it, for a time. But it was so isolated. I enjoyed seeing people who came for retreats, but almost no one came often enough to really see them with any regularity. Zachary didn't mind being isolated, but Hibi did. We had a homeschool group in Fresno, but she just couldn't ever meet any kids out in Dunlap. Seemed the only place to meet kids out there was school. I offered her the option of attending school in the Fall of 2004, just so she'd meet kids and have more structure to her day, and I think she would have done it. But, Met. Anthony decided to ask Paul to come back to the metropolis (same as the diocese, just with a different title now) as chancellor to help him wrap things up for his retirement. He was planning to retire in a year, and it would be only a year in San Francisco and then the Met would assign Paul to a parish (finally! after 6 years out of seminary, a parish assignment!) just before he retired. So, Hibi didn't go to school after all.

I jumped at the chance to move back to San Francisco. I still think there is no place quite like it! We moved back at the end of August of 2004. However, the neat little plans for the Met's retirement began to unravel in November, when he was diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma, a particularly aggressive cancer. And it hadn't been caught early enough. Very soon it became apparent that he was not going to live until his retirement. He died on Christmas day.

Now, none of this is what we bargained for....it was a lot of work for Paul and a lot of stress to care for him while he was sick, try to keep the hordes out of his hospital room, deal with wrapping up everything that needed to be wrapped up before his death, and then plan his funeral, take charge over the metropolis in the interim until a new bishop was chosen, and then plan the enthronement of the new bishop and get him up to speed on how things work in this metropolis. I had a couple of people say to me "what a blessing for the Metropolitan to die on Christmas day!" and I think huh, if only you knew....Paul says he doesn't ever want to bury another bishop. There were so many protocol things that he had to learn, because neither he nor anyone else working with him had ever done this before.

And one more thing to deal with, but I'm glad he got his wish, was that permission was finally granted from Fresno county to bury him at the monastery at St. Nicholas Ranch. He had been interred at the Colma cemetary, pending permission, and his coffin was brought to the ranch and we had his funeral there on March 2, 2005, which would have been his 70th birthday.

Things have settle down around here since the new Metropolitan, Gerasimos has settled in. Paul even comes home on time most days! We continue to enjoy homeschooling, basking in the many choices for activities and classes in San Francisco. The kids and I are taking a clay class this semester, and both kids are in scouts--Hibi is in a Girl Scout troop just for homeschoolers, and Zac just started as a charter member of the Sun Scouts, a club for boys started by two dads in the homeschool group. We've pared down our activities to just those two things, because we are expecting to be transferred soon. Hopefully very soon I'll have an announcement up!

I'll back up to our days at St. Nicholas Ranch. I was still trying to think of some way that I could do volunteer work and help bring some change about in the world, and not figuring out what to do. And then Paul started a food distribution, through the Fresno Food Bank. He would go to Fresno and pick up the food, and then we'd sort it into bags of food for each family who came. People would come to the ranch and pick up their food. It was a good start, but somehow didn't feel satisfying to us. We didn't get a chance to talk with anyone--they didn't really want to talk, just wanted to take their food and go. Then we did a Thanksgiving dinner, and they came and sat and ate, and then we had a chance to talk. Soon after that, Poverello House in Fresno, a large homeless shelter, offered to make meals for us to serve. Then we had a meal every month for people to eat when they came to pick up their shares. Then the community building really began. We started to get to know people. Buck was the first--an old-before-his-time veteran of the Korean war. He'd been shot in the hip, and was still wounded. He was trying to get surgery, but not having any luck with the VA. Through a long process where he found out more than he ever wanted to know about bureaucracy, Paul helped him obtain surgery at the VA hospital. We met Tammy, who was a recovering alcoholic, who had had an abusive husband but was now with a good man. She was the only one to ever come to church from the community, and that same week she died and her children were sent back to live with the abusive ex-husband. We met Shonda, who lived on Buck's property. They all lived in tiny, dirty trailers. Shonda lived there with two of her children (she had three others, but they were in foster care). Her boyfriend was in jail, and if her story is right, I'm even more against the patriot act than before....she says he threatened to kill someone, just verbally, while drunk, and that they wanted to lock him up for good because he was a "terrorist threat."

I was very concerned for Shonda's kids, as they really seemed much too docile to me. They didn't move around very much at all, and I could just barely get the baby to engage in a small smile, but no other facial or bodily interaction. I got involved in Shonda's life, both to help her and to keep an eye on the kids. I drove Shonda into Fresno a couple of times so she could visit her boyfriend. I never did figure out what to do about the kids. Call CPS and have them taken away from her? I didn't think there was actual abuse going on, and I don't believe in taking kids away from parents just for being poor.

And then there was Rebecca, who just showed up at our door one day asking for help because she was trying to get away from her abusive boyfriend who had threatened to kill her. She wanted to park her car at our place, so he wouldn't know where she was. We did that, and hoped it wasn't stolen or anything.....Rebecca lived on Buck's property for a time, too, with the boyfriend. She went back to him, then came back to us.....I once picked her up between somewhere on the long road between the ranch and Fresno because he'd dragged her into Fresno and beaten her within an inch of her life, raped her, etc. and she was trying to *walk* back. We brought her to the ranch and she stayed there for a couple of days while we got a shelter bed lined up for her in a safe house. I don't think she ever made it there, though, and I don't remember what she did in the interim, but about a week later the sheriff showed up at our door asking if we knew where she was. We told him to the best of our knowledge she was in this shelter, and by the way did they know anything about this boyfriend whom they'd been looking for? Yeah, he's dead. Problem solved....he had been murdered, and we worried for awhile that Rebecca was a suspect (and that perhaps she had done it, out of self-defense) but it turned out they just wanted to talk to her and find out what she knew.

So, this is what happens when you open your life to others! You find out about a lot of stuff under the surface.

On our second day living back in San Francisco, we were walking to the Muni train, and Paul walked up to Sheri, who was sitting on the ground panhandling, and said "Hi, I'm Paul. What's your name?" and that got us started on opening up our lives and hearts and sharing our food and other resources with the homeless folks on our corner. I won't go into all our experiences here, since I've shared many of them already on my blog.

I suppose that brings us to the current. Where does all this take us? Well, I think I'm a lot more interested in the welfare of real people now, rather than ideals and dogma. We're a family that's interested in living in community with humanity, not just in our own social class. We are interested in global peace through working together and destroying power structures that only hinder relations. And now you know how we got here!

Thanks for reading....I know this has been very long. But I appreciated the opportunity to write all this out, because it's been very clarifying for me. I've seen connections much more clearly from this exercise. And if anyone else finds it interesting, that's just icing on the cake!

And as for growth and change....I hope I never stop growing and changing. I want to be a person who is always willing to consider new things and not grow stagnant and static.

Growth and Change

A continuation of yesterday's story.

How did seminary change us? I suppose I need to start with saying that we were both raised in pretty conservative, evangelical households (mine was much more rigid in it's approach than Paul's, and his was growing and changing itself during his childhood and after) and we were still very conservative when we joined the Orthodox church, in politics and theology. When we were studying the Orthodox church, we met Fr. David Anderson from the Ben Lomond church. In discussions with him, I remember the distinct feeling of "if I'm to be Orthodox, I can't be rigid in my ideas of interpreting the Bible literally all the time anymore." Fr. David is actually quite conservative, but he did something for us--he broadened our minds and started us on the road to asking hard questions of what we believed.

Seminary did more of the same. I didn't attend classes, but Paul would bring his more fascinating finds home and discuss them. One of those was the issue of "wives submit to your husbands" found in the teachings of St. Paul. We had taken this commandment quite seriously, including the follow-up of "husbands, love your wives." We had made a pact that when we couldn't agree on an issue, that I would submit to Paul's decision on the matter. In seminary, when we'd been married for about 7 years, he came home after a lecture given by his New Testament professor, where he talked about this command. He said yes, St. Paul did issue that command. But the much greater priority than submission to St. Paul in his writings is unity. That perhaps submission was better than disunity, but unity is the best of all. As we talked it over, we realized that we'd only invoked the submission thing a small handful of times in our marriage, and even then, Paul almost always, when I said it was his decision, would decide the matter in the way I'd wanted. This was a revelation to us, and we began to see that talking an issue over and agreeing, almost always, was possible.

Interesting the correlations I can see now, looking back.....

About this time I learned more about an organization called the Orthodox Peace Fellowship. I requested a free issue of their journal, and enjoyed reading it. I was still on the fence about war and pacifism, though, but I was just beginning to think about the issues. I was glad for that exposure later on, after 9/11 happened....I'll talk more about that later.

We saw more than our share of corruption of power and just plain old politics at seminary, too. Since we were closer to the center of the Orthodox world (in the US) we were affected a lot more than if we'd just been in a parish. Archbishop Iakavos retired and Archbishop Spyridon was selected to replace him. We had such high hopes for him---he was born in the US, English was his first language, etc. We thought this was a chance to further the progress of the church in the US. But as his time went on, he showed a completely different priority--to keep the Orthodox church in the dark ages. He said that women had no place even in church choirs. He came down hard on any parish that was not in compliance with him. He fired professors at the seminary who were teaching in the spirit of academic freedom, like Paul's New Testament teacher, after they investigated a case of sexual harassment on campus and recommended the student's expulsion. (The student continued and graduated that year.)

What was even more difficult than all the corruption going on in the hierarchy was the split it created in Paul's class at seminary. We had those who were for and those who were against. They no longer were united in anything. The next class was just deeply confused and disheartened, but we were warring against each other.

On other academic freedom fronts.....Paul listened to a lecture that asked the question that I'd never heard before: what if certain language in the Bible does not mean the same thing as what we mean by it now? How does that change our perception of what is sinful and what isn't? The lecturer was specifically referring to homosexuality. (Which in itself is not a word that appears in the Bible at all.) We still believed the way that we'd been taught growing up, that homosexuality was a perversion, and that it was the worst sin that there is. I filed this information away for another time: it didn't really relate to my life, anyway.

One concept that I really loved and resonated with that Paul brought home from seminary was John Zizoulas' concept that we, as individual human beings, only exist in relation to each other. I suppose this is a variation on the Buddhist idea that all of life is one, we are all connected. But I think it puts a bit more emphasis on the individual, without denying that we are connected. This concept really changed my outlook on relating to others.

Also in seminary, Zachary was born! We said for years that as far as we knew, he was the first baby to be born on the campus of Holy Cross seminary. :-) He was born at home, and we planned it that way! But recently someone told us that there was a baby born in the school cafeteria--they were trying to make it to the hospital and didn't make it. So, I guess Zac doesn't have the distinction after all of being the first. We didn't tell too many people that we were planning a homebirth, because we didn't want the news to get to those in charge and have them tell us we couldn't do it. But it went off without a hitch, and we became the talk of the campus. Zac's godmother told us that someone asked her in the bookstore, where she worked, "did you hear there was a baby born on campus? Oh my gosh, who would do that?" And she said, "yes, I was there!" That same night, however, was the night the sexual harassment occurred, so we weren't the talk of the campus for very long.

After Paul graduated from seminary in 1999, he was assigned to be Metropolitan Anthony's deacon. He'd been ordained to the diaconate in December of 1998, by Met. Anthony. The Metropolitan (another title for bishop) was impressed by Paul's struggle to be allowed to be ordained by him, instead of by Archbishop Spyridon who was insisting on doing all ordinations himself. So impressed was Met. Anthony that he announced that day that Paul would be his deacon after graduating. And so, in June of 1999, we moved to San Francisco. It was a mystifying place to us at first, but we really grew to love it. San Francisco was the first place I really considered myself a city girl.

This story will be continued!

Conversion

Dawn wrote me an email yesterday asking if I had posted our story about how we became Orthodox anywhere on my blog. I told her I haven't done that--it's been so long since we became Orthodox I don't hardly think about that anymore....I was looking at the calendar to figure out how long it had been, and realized that today is the 13th anniversary of us being Orthodox! So, I told her, perhaps in honor of our anniversary I would tell how we came to the church. And, why not, I'll add some biographical info as well.

I was raised Mennonite in a very conservative small farming town in central California. Paul was raised Baptist in Tucson and Prescott, Arizona. We met at college in the San Diego area--a conservative Baptist college. In fact, our college, Christian Heritage College, was founded by Tim LaHaye of the Left Behind series fame. (Or is it infamy?) We began dating only a couple of months after I started at CHC, and got married 1 1/2 years later. Yes, we were young! I was 20 and he was 21 when we married. Though that seems very young to me now I can't see doing it any differently. We were in love.....what else could we do?

Paul took on the responsibility of pastoring a small community church way out in the rural throws of San Diego County, just before we got married. The town was named Dulzura, and it indeed had a lot of back-country character. We met in a very dusty, spider-webby community center on Sundays. Paul and I once undertook cleaning the building out really well and found a bunch of black widow nests. He didn't get paid much--they were only paying him to "fill the pulpit" and be there on Sundays to conduct church service for an hour. But of course, Paul being who he is, he took the job much more seriously than that and did youth activities and other things that took us out there other than on Sundays. Friday night was the hang-out time at the local cafe, so we'd brave the cigarette-smoky little place to sit with folks from the church and hear the local lore. We really invested a lot of ourselves into this little church--sometimes with very little payback. We wanted more commitment from the people, and they wanted (for the most part) to come on Sundays and sing the hymns they'd sung throughout their lives.

We finished college. Paul had been planning to attend Dallas Theological Seminary, and we'd even visited. But he was working at the time for a gardener who was in the reserves. The Gulf War began while we were visiting the seminary, and Paul's boss needed someone to run his company if he was called to serve. He offered Paul a hefty bonus to stay for another year. As for me, I graduated from college with a liberal studies degree, intending to be an elementary school teacher. But California was under a severe budget crunch at the time and was hiring no new teachers. I went in another direction and never went back to teaching at a school.

Paul and I began to plan for parenthood and to open a home day care. This seems so phenominally ill-conceived to me now, but it didn't then. My mother had home day care all through my growing up years, and so I thought I'd be a natural at it. Besides, if I couldn't teach, I wanted to do something with children. But starting a business is hard work, and it never got very far off the ground.

Before any of this happened, though, a friend of ours from college, Kevin, who had co-pastored the church in Dulzura for awhile, called Paul up and said he needed to talk with him. Another pastor from the mega church he was pastoring at was looking at this church called the Orthodox Church. He talked it over with Paul. We hadn't ever heard of the Orthodox church. Paul told me about his conversation with Kevin, but I didn't think anything of it at the time. What I didn't know for months is that Paul began to do some study about the Orthodox church and continued (continues to this day). Months after, Paul broached the subject with me again. "I'd like to visit this church that Kevin was talking about" he said. Oh! Well, okay. Our first visit was during Lent. It was for a presanctified liturgy, and it was in an OCA church. That means it was very dark, there were lots of candles and incense, and we did a LOT of prostrations! It was all so foreign to me. I chalked it up to a cultural experience and thought that was that.

Until Paul said the next week he wanted to go back. He was still pastoring in Dulzura, so we couldn't go on Sundays. So, we went back for the next Wednesday's presanctified. That time I was just bored. Then Paul wanted to go back for the next week. That third week I was hooked. I began to fall in love with the beauty of worship that didn't exist in our evangelical protestant traditions. And I was soon to find out about the history of the church--that it went all the way back to Jesus.

We continued going to an Orthodox church, but not on Sundays. We found an Antiochian church that was closer to home for us, with a convert priest who could answer our questions very well, Fr. Paul O'Callaghan. He was raised Catholic and then went toward the Jesus Movement before converting to Orthodoxy, so he was very well equipped to answer our questions. Pascha (Easter) was our very first Sunday Divine Liturgy, and with the glory of Holy Week behind us, we were ready to convert!

It was in that Antiochian church that we became Orthodox on October 11, 1992. Paul quit pastoring the Dulzura church a couple of months before. People asked us whether we would bring our church into the Orthodox church, like the AEOM movement did. But these folks weren't ready for anything so exotic. They didn't need their faith shaken. We didn't even talk about it very much with them--it just wouldn't have served any good purpose. Or that's what we thought then. Perhaps we didn't trust them enough. There was one woman of great faith there who came for our chrismation, which is the conversion cermemony in the Orthodox church where the Holy Chrism (oil) is applied done with people who have already been baptized.

We started our home day care, Paul quit working in gardening to help at the home business, Hibiscus was born in 1994(we named her Carissa--she took the name Hibiscus three years ago), and we began thinking about Paul attending Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology in Boston. We quit the day care when Hibi was 6 months old (and I had to wonder, staying home with my baby, how in the world anyone dropped their 6 week old or 3 months old or 6 month old off at day care? I couldn't imagine ever leaving her). In 1995 we packed up and headed for Boston. It was a great four years--very, very hard, but good. Hard because of the poverty our family lived in, hard because of the big shake-up in the Greek Orthodox Church (which happened around the same time as the shake-up in the Antiochian church, over the Ben Lomond parish). Hard in a nice way that our core values were being challenged and put to the test, and some were being molded in a different direction from how we'd thought they would be.

Oh, yes, and we visited Kevin and his wife, Robin, in Memphis while we were moving out to Boston. They became Orthodox just in time to serve as godparents to Hibi. Kevin is now Fr. Kevin and he is the priest of an Antiochian parish in the East San Francisco Bay Area.

So, how did we become Greek Orthodox instead of Antiochian? Through a series of painful events, and a great little mission parish also in San Diego county. Fr. Paul O'Callaghan was transfered to Wichita, and in his wake we had a series of priests. Never again was the whole parish kept happy. Paul tells me that the parish is back together now, but it took many years and it fell apart for a long time. Just before Hibi's baptism was scheduled, Paul had a meeting with a bishop (he shall remain nameless here) to ask to attend seminary. It did not go well. The bishop asked lots of inappropriate questions and we left with a very bad taste in our mouths. Meanwhile, we couldn't get hold of our priest to talk about Hibi's baptism. We finally just threw our hands in the air and went to the great little mission parish, pastored by Fr. James Gavrilos, who welcomed us with open arms and gladly took us into the Greek church.

I'll stop here for now....but I will have more to say about our lives in the Orthodox church--the good, the bad, and the ugly. We've changed a lot since we became Orthodox, and telling about our conversion just isn't the whole story. So, I'll write more, maybe tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Dinner tonight

One catch-all dinner I make in order to use up lots of veggies from my CSA box is vegetable stew. You can use just about any vegetables, but I try to use at least one green vegetable and one red/orange/yellow vegetable, and potatoes are always good in stew. Tonight's was extra flavorful, and I thought I'd share the recipe here.

Chop coarsely one or two onions, and saute in 3 tablespoons of olive oil for about 4 minutes. Add three cloves of garlic, cut in three pieces each, and cook for another minute or two. Add 3/4 cup black lentils, 2 peeled and cubed sweet potatoes, 1 butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cubed, and 2 or 3 cubed potatoes and stir, cooking, for about a minute. Add a quart of vegetable broth and enough water to cover everything. Add salt and pepper and a few sprigs of fresh thyme. Bring to a boil, then lower heat and cover. Simmer until everything is tender and beginning to fall apart. Add one bunch of chard, chopped coarsely and cook for a couple minutes more.

Stop here if you want a vegan stew, or substitute oil for butter.

Knead together 1 1/2 tablespoons butter with 2 tablespoons flour. Add in small bits to the simmering stew and stir until the stew is thickened, about 2 minutes. Serve with your favorite cheese.

Zachary and the Banjo!

Zachary has been talking for a while about wanting to learn to play the banjo. So, yesterday Paul and Zac went to a music store and got him a nice (used) banjo! He already knows how to play "Go Tell Aunt Rhody" on it. Very, very slowly, but he can play it. And it sounds like how a banjo ought to sound! I think the banjo is a good first instrument because you can get pretty good sounds out of it right away. The strings are already tuned to a cord, unlike a guitar, and Paul says it's strung more loosely than a guitar, so it doesn't hurt the fingers as much. Unlike a violin, which I started playing when I was only a year older than Zac.....though I already had taken piano lessons, I'm sure that my first tones to come out of that violin weren't anything to write home about!

Speaking of guitar, Paul decided to really splurge and also bought himself a new guitar. I've been telling him for years that he could if he wanted to--even offered to get him one for his birthday. He loves his new guitar, and what's great is that they can both play together!

Paul just saw the "really splurge" that I'd written and wants to point out that he did trade in his old guitar, for $50. That was 1/4 the cost of the new one. (I guess he's still trying to justify his expenditure....I told him it was fine with me!)

This morning we did something different at church. Usually, partly because of the size of the church building (very small), the Sunday School meets during the Divine Liturgy and the kids only come into church when it's time for communion. This morning we had a youth liturgy in a part of the hall that can be closed off from the main part. It went really nicely, and the kids really felt connected. I could tell just from how they were acting in churhch that they really dug it! We got all of the kids involved in some way. The high schoolers served as alter servers (yes, even the girls! Yay!), the middle schoolers carried candles in the great entrance, and the younger kids held candles for the reading of the gospel. Paul engaged them in the sermon, asking for how they thought people felt in the gospel story (the boy who Jesus raised from the dead) and how we can make a difference in people's lives--from first seeing their pain, and then having compassion on them, like Jesus did. Even though we can't raise anyone from the dead, we can still have a tremendous impact on others if we're in tune to them. Even the smallest children could tell how a mother would feel if her only son died, and how she'd feel if he suddenly was raised back to life.

It was a wonderful morning, and we're hoping to do this about once a month.

Blog find

Lately I've really enjoyed reading the blog A Different Kind of Normal. It's written by a young mom of an adorable baby. But this family is from the US and lives currently in Iran, studying at a Muslim seminary. They are under the MCC, Mennonite Central Committee, which, having been raised Mennonite I was extremely interested in. Their purpose is to study Islam in order to deepen understanding between cultures and religious beliefs, with broader peace as the end goal. I've enjoyed Laurie's forays into the world of Islam and her finds in Persian literature.

I really need to figure out how to put the blog links on the sidebar again--I deleted them when I first started this blog, and now don't know how to get them back. When I do, then I can put all these links there. Wouldn't that be handy?

Pizza and a Movie night

Yum, yum. I have a new favorite flavor of pizza! In our CSA newsletter a couple of weeks ago, there was a feature about three guys who work for Eatwell (our CSA), having a "test kitchen" (good excuse to have fun in the kitchen and have something yummy to eat!). They made fig pizza! It seemed quite intriguing, and I knew I had to find out what fig pizza tasted like. So, tonight I made pizza on my baking stone, two kinds--fig and our perennial favorite, with fresh heirloom tomatoes, fresh basil, and fresh mozzarella. I have to say I liked the fig even better than our old favorite! It had figs, walnuts and red onions sauteed in olive oil, and blue cheese (a wonderful blue called Crater Lake Blue from the Rogue Creamery, which we got on our trip to Ashland--I don't think I mentioned that we went to Ashland and saw Love's Labor's Lost when we went to Patrick's Point campout). Too bad it's almost the end of fig season!

We ate our pizza while we watched a movie. No light viewing--we saw a movie called The Weather Underground. It's about the anti-war group during the Vietnam era that bombed buildings that were connected to war operations. It started out with gruesome footage of butchered bodies and mangled people in Vietnam. I didn't think I was going to be able to stay in the room, but just about the time I was about to leave....the carnage stopped (on the screen) and went on with the response of the anti-war movement of the time. What was excruciatingly fascinating was the modern-day interviews with the people who were intensely involved in the movement, because some were not so sure that what they did was right, and yet saw and see no other alternative. When we really look at the violence wrought by our government in our names, and we can choose to do nothing and continue with our neat little lives, or to make a huge stink (which may or may not accomplish more than the latter), which are we to choose? I don't think there's an easy answer to this question. We were left with the question, as Paul said, what reason do we have to not do the same as they did? I don't have an answer.

Tomorrow I think we're going to see something a bit less heavy....the new Wallace and Gromit movie! In other news of the day, I met the aforementioned cyber acquaintance, and am pleased to report that now she's a real-live friend. :-) Hi, Alice! Enjoyed our lunch together! And in yet other news, Hibi sprained her ankle. Phew, what a day!

Beautiful day

I know it's starting to get cold in many parts of the US, but it's a gorgeous time of year to live in San Francisco. On our side of San Francisco, it's cold and foggy all summer long. I've had to adjust my thinking--that's not our summer, it's our winter. Summer is this time of year! The fall is almost always beautiful, as well as spring. But in the fall we don't get rain, and the weather is usually lovely. It's beach weather! Unfortunately, having just gotten over fifth disease, we haven't been able to do much outside. But on Tuesday, I bit the bullet and finally bought a bike rack for our car (to haul bikes around) and the kids and I took the bikes to Golden Gate park and rode around. It was wonderful! It's hard to ride from our house, since our neighborhood is so hilly. Plus when we're riding on narrow streets with lots of cars whizzing by, it makes me very nervous, especially for the kids. But in Golden Gate park there are lots of bike paths that don't have cars. We're hoping to make this a semi-regular thing. We want to go to Crissy Field next and ride on the marina, over to the Maritime museum.

In other news, we are the new owners of a card game of The Great Dalmuti. I first played it at a homeschool gathering, and it's lots of fun. But you have to understand before you play it that this game is not fair. It's just like life! It's set up like a medieval caste system (but is probably just as applicable to our modern capitalist system...) and it's based on the premise that the rich get richer and the poor stay poor. It is loads of fun! I think we're going to host a gathering at some point and invite anyone over who'd like to play.

Ow, ow, ow....

I learned years ago, the hard way, to wear gloves when chopping up hot chiles. Hot chiles burn the hands worse than they burn the tongue, because the burn lingers for hours. Tonight I was making chile relleno (which the non-vegan contingent of our family *loves*) and I was sure to wear gloves while chopping up the jalepeno for the ranchero sauce. But I didn't wear gloves while working with the peppers to be stuffed. I usually buy Anaheim chiles for chile relleno, but this time the Anaheims were skinny and shriveled, not good for stuffing. So I think I got poblanos, which should have been fairly mild. As I was walking to the dinner table to eat, my hands were beginning to tingle, but I thought nothing of it. But when I took my first bite--oh my gosh, that's hot! Paul was eating his happily--he enjoys spicy, but after awhile, noting my discomfort both in my mouth and hands, he wondered if I'd gotten an especially hot one. He was glad when he got the last one, but he wasn't happy for long--another super hot one!

So, I'm typing alternating with putting my hand in ice water.

In other news....Hibi decided to wait until Zac was almost done with fifth disease and then get it herself. Yup, looks very likely that she has it now.

UPDATE: Hibi's rash has not progressed since Saturday night (It's mid-day Monday now) so it's either a very mild case, or she doesn't have it. Now, is she contagious? Hmm....ah, parenthood, one fun decision after another....